Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I am not a salesman, and I am not a cleaner.

OJ Thornton says:

OJ Thornton, born 6th July 1978, UK citizen.

There are two things I cannot do: I am not a salesman, and I am not a cleaner.

The rest of this CV is about what I can do, and why, if you want them done, I'm the one for you.

I am an organiser and a leader, a teacher and a guide. When a person follows me, he or she can trust me to the ends of the Earth. I have had people trust me with their lives, and obey my every command. My eye for detail and my quick mind have enabled me to take them to the edge and bring them back, with full knowledge of the risks, and full preparation to meet them. With discipline and fairness I have won respect and given it in return. I have drawn from people their very best, and enabled them to excel themselves.

I have served and gladly do so: to bring aid another human being is among the greatest joys. Applying my skills in the service of another's needs or desires is my true vocation in work. To turn my mind and hand to finding for them their heart's desire is truly a wondrous thing.

Knowledge and learning are my building blocks, and information is my cement; organisation, the architecture for it all. Administration and communication are my twin talents, each one aided by the other; what a person needs to know, I can find, what a colleague has to find, I can reveal. Complex events, I have arranged, and difficult ideas, made accessible.

With care and understanding, and a dedicated ear, I have guided people with confidence, and confidentiality. With tenderness and sensitivity I have helped them when in need, with strength and courage I have stood at their side and supported them.

My qualifications cannot be written on paper, nor assessed by some examination; only through living have I proven what I can do. In loving and in fighting, in working and in play, I have shown again and again the talents I have learned.

The certificates I have attest that I know mathematics and philosophy (BSc, also Maths 'A' Level 'C'); that I understand theology and physics ('A' Level, both a 'B'); that I studied French and German, English language and literature, and graphic design at GCSE. Another tells, though not the full story, of my proficiency with IT: with spreadsheets, databases and word-processing.

I have worked in a Library, in a college and at home, dealing with customers and businesses alike. I have organised a charity event, and in my last job, even swept the floors for a DIY store (I was fired, because I am not a cleaner!)

I have refereed in sports, and presented a scientific speech. I have written for my local newspaper and have volunteered for charities. I have performed in front of hundreds, and cared for others' children.

In everything, I have given my all, passionately and with conviction.

If you have need of any of these skills and talents, I will gladly take on a role.

I can be reached at snowdrop-explodes@talk21.com.

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